Bucket List, of sorts

Ok, so the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5-7) kicked my butt.  As well it should.  It is a sermon.  With about 18 smack-you-in-the-face points.  The two topics that left me with a similar thought - one that both scares me as well as potentially liberates me - are ANGER and LUST.  Jesus refers to the current standard.  For anger it stands that "You shall not murder" and for lust that "You shall not commit adultery".  Jesus proceeds to step these up.  "If you are angry with a brother, insults a brother, or calls them names, you are guilty of murder. . .and if you even look at someone else lustfully you are guilty of adultery."  Well, Oh CRAP!

These are heart issues.  And I am well aware that my heart is "desperately wicked".  It is not devoid of these issues.  So, what do I do?  Jesus makes it clear in Matt. 5:23,24 to leave my offering, my sacrifice, my gift of praise and worship to God at the altar and make amends.  After reconciliation has happened, and a healthy relationship is restored, should you go back and place your offering on the altar.

So, how do I apologize to all of those people?  I don't want to write one blanket statement apologizing to the world for ever getting angry or having lustful thoughts.  That doesn't restore relationships.  How would the object of my sin know that I sinned against them?  So, do I list out as many as I can remember in two lists, one for anger and one for lust and methodically seek out each individual?  Could that destroy my ministry? my reputation? my family?

Maybe.  But then I ask myself: What good can come from not doing anything with it?  How long do you want to present unacceptable sacrifices to a pure and holy God?  (This is the moment, as a worship leader, where my teeth got knocked in)